Best Way to Read the Scriptures

1)Open scriptures.lds.org.
2) Find your spot in the Book of Mormon.
3) Turn on the "Listen" option.
4) Snuggle quietly on the floor.

And maybe when I say "best," I mean "most comfortable" and not "most effective way to help your children feel the Spirit and learn the doctrines."

When the babies* are at Nana's House. . .

. . . the rest of us can go SNOWSHOEING!  Have you ever done this?  It's incredibly fun.

 You can hang on a branch.

 You can model your stunning borrowed (the girls') or military surplus (mine and John's) footwear.

 You can pose in front of the gorgeous Uintah Mountain scenery.

 And you can fall on your duff again and again and again.  Favorite quote of the day, "Quit whining, Mimi, and just use your claws."  (This from Liv, referring to the crampon on the bottom of the snowshoe.)

We'll definitely have to get some kids' snowshoes of our own and do this again.  Does anyone want to join us?
*Bella hates it when we refer to her as one of the babies.

Merry Christmas!

Hope your days was a thumbs up. . . 

 . . . with plenty of real (and fake) smiles. . . 

 . . .and squishy hugs. . . 

 . . . and maybe even too much love.

Ours was.

In an effort to make the rest of you feel like great moms. . .

. . . I'm going to list Bella's most recent accomplishments:

1) Shampoo mess in our bathroom (blogged here)
2) Poured out all of my brother Pete eyedrops onto his deodorant, which she enthusiastically scrubbed with his toothbrush.  Then proceeded to stick all of his clothes together with his toothpaste.  Pete, I am SO SORRY!
3) Went to the neighbors' house to play yesterday and decided to "wipe up" their bathroom.  This involves gallons of water, a bottle of handsoap, and a rag.  She was so drenched when she was done that they had to change her into some of Lily's clothes before sending her home.
4)  Told my Grandma Nielson (my grandpa died a few years ago), "Hey, I know you!  Your boyfriend died."  Tactful.
5) Used the pump bottle of conditioner to liberally spatter the entire shower, herself, and her little sister.

I'm going to start putting her to bed at 9:00 a.m.

In case you were wondering.

If you've ever wondered whether dumping an entire bottle of shampoo onto the bathroom floor would make the floor really slippery and fun to slide around on, you're in good company.  Because Bella was wondering that same thing.  The answer is:  Yes.  Really, really slippery and really, really fun.

If  you've ever wondered whether kneeling in said shampoo would make your pajamas yucky and bubbly and slimy, you'd also be in good company.  Because Maddie was wondering the same thing, and her answer is:  Yes.  Really slimy, yucky, and bubbly.  The only solution to this problem is to scream loudly and tattle on your sister for spilling the shampoo.

If you'd put yourself squarely in the category of people who are pretty sure that cleaning up shampoo from off the bathroom floor is the last way you'd want to spend your Sunday evening because your hypothesis is that shampoo must be scrubbed again and again and again and again because its very existence depends on its ability to create suds from practically nothing, you are ALSO in good company.  Probably the best company.  Because you are in my company.  And our hypothesis is correct.  More correct than we would have wished.

As a side note, I wish to point out that although the five heads of girl hair in this family require us to purchase shampoo in bulk in Sam's Club, I have the foresight to make my strategy one of refilling our pump bottle only about half full every time I fill it.  For mitigation purposes, in case something like this happens (or in case someone decides to use the shampoo as bubble bath).  I hate to brag, but there it is.  #iamsobrilliant

Halloween!

I don't know how the rest of the moms I know manage to take such great pictures of their kids in Halloween costumes.  I usually forget to take pictures at all, so it was great to have John's phone at the ready to capture our group halfway through the trick-or-treating.  (Of course, I also planted us directly in front of the setting sun.  Sorry if you feel blinded.)

From oldest to youngest, we have John, the Bad Doctor (he's our supervillain); me, Witchtastic (and I really wish you could see more of my awesome black-and-orange tights); Olivia, The Speedy Paintbrush; Naomi, aka Magnificent Mimi; Bella, aka Fireballa; and the small and daring Mad Madame Maddie.

 My mom and dad joined us for the whole week of Halloween.  However, my dad is the world's biggest Halloween Humbug, so he didn't come along for the trick-or-treating.  (He stayed home and handed out glowsticks to the two trick-or-treaters who bumbled along to our house.)

 We posed heroically.

 We dashed heroically out of scary houses (accompanied by Mario and Rainbow Dash).

 We posed heroically again.

 We delighted heroically in the enormous piles of candy we were heroically gathering.

 And we talked, heroically and at length, about our superpowers.  The Speedy Paintbrush can wield a magic paintbrush and make her paintings come to life.  Magnificent Mimi scores well on spelling tests and saves people from falling rocks.  Fireballa throws balls of fire at bad guys, and then she runs really fast.  Mad Madame Maddie mostly just runs down the halls of houses yelling her name.  (I'm sure that terrifies supervillains.  The Bad Doctor regularly finds himself stymied.)

P.S.  My sister also escaped Provo with her darling boyfriend, and the two of them were the champions of the extended trick-or-treating that my two older girls accomplished.  I have Annie and Shaylor to thank for the sugar high we've all been riding the past few days.  I

Easy Steps to Feeling Like a Great Mom

1.  Hand your two-year old the spoon and bowl when you are done spreading chocolate frosting on peanut butter brownies.*
2.   Sit down, eat lunch, and smile while she sings "Sprinkle, Sprinkle, Little Star" to herself, using the spoon as a microphone.
3.  Listen as she very seriously asks the spoon, "Do you love Jesus?  I LOVE Jesus."  Let your eyes mist up for a second.
4.  Enjoy the five minutes of satisfaction in the good job you are doing before you make another huge parenting mistake.  (Anyone else get unreasonably grumpy about a pile of unfolded blankets and de-cased pillows in the middle of the living room?  No?  Only me?)
*I have extra kids in the house today, and there's nothing I've discovered that keeps everyone happy for longer than making a big batch of cookies together.  Every kid I've ever met likes to dump ingredients, stir, and spread.