Why we don't live at Heather Hills (bienvenidos al ghetto)

So at 4:20 this morning, I was awakened by someone repeatedly blaring their horn in the parking lot just outside our (and about 20 other people's) bedroom window. This is a condoned and relatively common practice here at Oak Hill Court, and it simply means "I'm here, thank you, and will the one person out of the twenty I just woke up please come out to the car so I can stop honking." The only problem with this morning's noise is no one came out. The honking continued aggressively for a bit, so I finally got up to take a look. Some gal was yelling up to the 15 year old that lives above us, asking his name and where someone lived.
Business as usual it seemed, as she entered the building, but then when she left she started messing around with the trunk of a car in the parking lot. "Hm," I thought, "her key must not be working in the trunk because she's getting a little worked up back there." Actually she was trying her best to rip the plate off the car but apparently settled in the end for scraping the registration decal off. Then she hopped in her car and left. I laid back down, and just as I dozed away (around 4:46) unfortunately the same honking started again, and the sight wasn't so benign when I looked out the window this time. She was quite obviously trying to enter the driver's door of that same car by less than legitimate means. I flipped on the light and called apartment security. Then as I glanced out the window I saw her struggling to puncture the right front tire. She probably saw my light go on because she took off. I heard the sliding door above us open, so I opened ours, and asked the kid above if that lady actually just flattened the tires on that car. He said "Yeah, I was just watching movies and blah blah blah." Then the car owner came out. I didn't recognize him but he was dressed just like every other tenant that lives here. I told him he had just lost some tires. He said thanks and went back in. About then the apartment security showed up and called me asking for a description of the car and the lady and said "Probably a second girlfriend. Thanks for calling." Emilee and the girls slept right through it all so this gem is mine alone.
I doubt those at Heather Hills have ever been aroused by a drunken Dane, Dusty, and Ryan playing ball in the parking lot at 2 am, or Candace and Leisy out yelling and slashing tires. How 'bout Eric in an illicit substance induced haze lying next to the dryer for several hours? Didn't think so. Entertainment of this quality can't be purchased with money and these are the memories that I will cherish forever. I can't wait to see what tonight brings because after all, there are still two tires left untouched on that car.