So, here's what Livi started doing last week. "Hey look at me. I'm Mulan!" I guess she came up with this one on her own and, politically correct though it's not, it was funny. Speaking of Disney Princesses stuff, here's where my medical skills have really been put to good use ($160,000 well spent). Our Polly collection is at least 30-40% super glue at this point. These were two of our simpler cases with a hip job and a purely cosmetic hair fixation.
The most common emergency I'm called on to deal with involves cranio-cervical dislocations, where the head is completely ripped from the body. The most common mechanism of action isn't a simple Polly MVA or fall, but something a little more sinister......torture. Liv pulls on the head while Mimi screams and pulls on the body. Once the dislocation occurs, the girls again become one in purpose and rush the Polly to me for what we refer to as a "cervical fusion".
My technique has improved quite a bit, considering with my first cervical fusion Princess Jasmine had what we in the business of Orthopedic Plastic Surgery refer to as a "poor outcome". She was unable to move her neck, which was not wholly unexpected, but (as everyone knows) super glue acts a little differently with each Polly Princess, and Jasmine unfortunately also lost the function of her right shoulder. Most recently, in a case I am especially proud of, Snow White recovered full range of motion in her neck and both upper extremities despite undergoing a cervical fusion because I made some slight modifications in technique, instrumentation, and post-surgical physical therapy. Other patients have been Prince Phillip with bilateral upper extremity fusions at the shoulders, two Belle cervical fusions, two Belle hair fixations, one Sleeping Beauty cervical fusion, and an Ariel cervical and shoulder fusion. One of the Belle fusions retained moderate cervical range of motion however, she suffered some significant scarring due to poor instrumentation.
Marc, Steve, any critiques? I think I'm ready to move on to people. Do we have any volunteers for my first surgery?
Edited to add: When I posted about this on Emilee's family blog, her law-student brother commented:
I am wondering if Jasmine has a malpractice case based on her poor outcome. The first question we have to ask is what the standard of care is for doll/action figure surgeons in the area. We need to take into account your available resources, but I am still concerned she may have a case. How much liability coverage do you have?