Easy Steps to Feeling Like a Great Mom

1.  Hand your two-year old the spoon and bowl when you are done spreading chocolate frosting on peanut butter brownies.*
2.   Sit down, eat lunch, and smile while she sings "Sprinkle, Sprinkle, Little Star" to herself, using the spoon as a microphone.
3.  Listen as she very seriously asks the spoon, "Do you love Jesus?  I LOVE Jesus."  Let your eyes mist up for a second.
4.  Enjoy the five minutes of satisfaction in the good job you are doing before you make another huge parenting mistake.  (Anyone else get unreasonably grumpy about a pile of unfolded blankets and de-cased pillows in the middle of the living room?  No?  Only me?)
*I have extra kids in the house today, and there's nothing I've discovered that keeps everyone happy for longer than making a big batch of cookies together.  Every kid I've ever met likes to dump ingredients, stir, and spread.

Productivity

Today, I:
*helped an eight-year old practice the piano for thirty minutes
*bathed two small children and got them dressed, in less than 20 minutes (miracle)!
*walked three miles while pushing a double stroller and participating in soul-refreshing adult conversation with my good friends
*drove to Vernal, shopped at Lowe's and Wal-Mart with those same small children, and remembered the early dismissal of school on Monday in time to make it home before the big girls
*made a quadruple batch of homemade laundry detergent and a double batch of homemade dishwasher detergent, inspired by Renae (I'll let you know how well they work)
*disassembled, moved, and reassembled one crib, one toddler bed, one dresser, six toy cubbies, one desk, and one bookcase, plus rearranged numerous tchotchkes and tossed countless pieces of garbage.  We are trying a new experiment of having the clothes and toys in one room and all the girls sleeping in the other room in order to lessen bedroom mess and foster sisterly spirit.  (I'll let you know how it works.)
#supermom

Then I:
*collapsed from exhaustion in front of Pinterest for an hour while I let ALL my children (including the baby) freely roam the dirt field behind the house
*grouched at those same kids when they came back in the house for not perfectly interpreting my wishes for how they should be helping me with dinner
 *dinner being spaghetti with marinara and canned breadsticks (not a vegetable in sight)
*let the two little ones fall asleep while the spaghetti was boiling, thus ensuring an evening spat with "Late Nap Syndrome" (chief symptoms:  sobbing uncontrollably and pushing anyone who comes near)
*copped out and watched the new Bible videos (they are absolutely wonderful) for family home evening, snapping at John (who had just walked in from a day of call) when the wireless internet wasn't instantly perfect
*obviously took the parable of the Good Samaritan to heart with my complete lack of sympathy for the couple of bumped heads that were injured on the way to bed
#suckymom

I'm sure one of these days I'll have a night where I can look back at the day's balance sheet and find MORE entries under the #supermom hashtag than under #suckymom.  But until then, I'm just grateful for the days where it zeroes out.  #neutralmom

Why TV is Good for Me

Here's what I love:  Hulu.  Here's why I love it:  so many life lessons on just one website. John and I have a few shows that we watch consistently, and these are the lessons I've learned.

#1)  From Burn Notice, I've learned that anything can be accomplished with enough bravado, bluster, and threats to call a superior.
#2) From Project Runway (which John refuses to watch with me), I've learned that you'll be on reality television a lot longer if you can treat other people terribly, even if you have no talent.
#3) From White Collar, I've learned that every woman is susceptible to a charming smile and a fedora.  Plus, I learned that I need a crazy, ethics-challenged, bald little genius of a friend if I'm ever going to join the criminal underworld.
#4) From Castle, I've learned that NYPD cops are all extraordinarily attractive, extraordinarily brave, and extraordinarily funny.  Also that they would never ever solve a case if they didn't have the help of a detective novelist.  Weird how that works.
#5) From Alphas, I've learned that superheroes live among us.  And it turns out that superstrength is not nearly as awesome a power as the ability to talk people into doing whatever you want.
What lessons have you learned?

Do You Pin?

I am addicted to Pinterest, people.  Do you pin?  Now, I deliberately don't do Facebook (but I should, I know, Larissa), so I have reserved a big slice of my time-wasted-surfing-on-the-Internet pie for this fabulous site:  Pinterest.  It's a virtual pinboard of inspiring images.
Images of wreaths, like these:

Plastic spoon wreath pinned here.

Lavender wreath pinned here.  

Images of delicious recipes, like these:  

Roasted tomato tortellini pinned here.  

Fruit salad pinned here. 

Images of great sewing projects, like these:  

Cardigan refashion pinned here.  

Windmill quilt pinned here. 

Plus, when you follow people on Pinterest, your Pinterest home page gets all filled up with all the fantastic things other people are pinning--which you can REPIN.  Onto your own pinboards.  Amazing.  So, join.  It's awesome.  And even if you don't want to spend 30 hours each day perusing the boards looking for beautiful things, it's still a great resource for storing all those bookmarked ideas you have saved in your browser.  And it's so much prettier than a pull-down menu.

Why I Live A Charmed Life

Note:  We have moved and are settled in.  Posts about our summer activities will follow.  This post, however, was just begging to be written.  

The girls and I just arrive home from a trip to see "The Little Mermaid" on stage at Tuacahn in St. George.  It was fantastic.  I fully recommend it, and I have pictures to show how much my girls enjoyed it as well.  However, on our trip home yesterday, we made it only as far as Cedar City before the van completely broke down.  Here are the reasons that worked out well for me:

1)  We had promised to stop at the Cedar City Wal-Mart in order to buy money orders for my dad.  Breakdowns in a Wal-Mart parking lot are infinitely preferable to breakdowns at 75 mph on I-15.

2) Mormons in Wal-Mart parking lots are incredibly friendly and helpful.  A mom with three kids of her own took pity on this scraggly band of girls and gave me a jumpstart when we had a suspicion it was my battery.  

3)  When it turned out that it was not my battery, but rather probably my alternator, I had on hand my fantastic younger sister, Annie, who was willing to take all four of my children out of the 95-degree heat and into the air-conditioned comfort of the Wal-Mart toy aisle, where they can be entertained for hours. 

4) We recently switched car insurance companies to one that includes roadside assistance--that means towing--and the lovely customer service agent arranged a tow for me.

5)  The tow truck driver on call was just pulling into Wal-Mart himself, with his two darling and helpful little boys, to do some shopping for his wife.  That turned an estimated 45-minute wait into a 5-minute wait.  (Thank you, Brett from Bradshaw Auto!  You are amazing!!)

6) My mother- and grandmother-in-law were willing to drive both of their cars (to accommodate all of us) all the way to Cedar City and back to St. George.  I love them.  

7) We arrived at the service station at 6:15, when it ostensibly closes at 6:00, but the kind manager left his shop open long enough for me to explain my troubles so he could start on my van first thing in the morning. 

And it all worked out.  We were back on the road from Cedar by noon, and home again by 7:00 (after a brief stop visiting my mom and brother in Provo).  Phewsh!  Since my van insists on malfunctioning only when I do not have John to repair things, I think that went about as well as could be expected.  My only regrets are that I didn't have any contact information for my dear friends the Corrys (Melissa--e-mail me!), so I burned all my time in the aisles of Wal-Mart instead of checking out her wonderful new digs.  

I'm a curmudgeon

I usually think of myself as a young, hip person.  Of course, I happen to be a mom, and of course, I'm over 30, but these things certainly don't make me someone who can't relate to the younger generation, right?  I mean, I remember being 14.  I even sometimes still  feel 13 (so awkward meeting new people), so I just didn't imagine I would find myself being the grumpy old killjoy of the neighborhood.

But. . . (and you knew this was coming). . . I was driving by the school today, and I saw a group of 12-14-year-old kids gathered around the homebase of the baseball field, and there was one kid climbing all the way to the top of the chain-link fence that guards spectators from flyballs. (What is that fence called?  I want to say "dugout", but I know that's wrong.)  Instantly, I stopped my minivan (Minivan?  Grumpy old mom clue #1.) and looked out my window at the kids.  They noticed me and looked back, somewhat cowed by the adult watching them.  (Cowing kids?  Grumpy old mom clue #2.)  They said something to the kid on top of the fence (20 feet up!  I would want someone else's mom to stop my kid if she was doing something that dumb.  Saying that last sentence?  Grumpy old mom clue #3.) , and he started climbing down, casually, but watching me the whole time, obviously willing me to just drive away and go about my business.  But I didn't (Grumpy old mom clue #4).  I stayed, ignoring that awkward feeling of the kids glancing over in my direction even as they tried to pretend I wasn't there.  I waited until his two teenage feet were planted firmly on the ground, and then I smiled and waved at the kids and drove away.  But even as my hipster self was humiliated at the spectacle my neighborhood watchdog self had just made of us, my inner curmudgeon wanted to turn around at the next stop sign and make sure that rascally kid hadn't tried to climb the fence again.  What is happening to me?

Stuff I Want to Share

There are things, my cyberfriends, that you people need to know. Or maybe you don't really need to know them, but I want to tell you about them anyway. Because they're awesome. Or moderately funny. Or maybe just mildly interesting.

Never mind. Here they are:

*Knock-Off Wood is the most amazing website. I want to make nearly everything from every plan that she lists. And looking at her plans, I think I, or anyone, could probably do it. (Nothing is more exciting to me than a list of instructions. Assembling IKEA furniture is my all-time favorite activity for after the kids are in bed. This seems just like taking the next logical step.) What should I make? The Farmhouse Bed? (It really is about time I have a real bed, with a headboard and all.) The Simplest Nightstand? Maybe I should just start with a bench. (Except not on wheels, because I can just see that careening through the kitchen and down into the family room with a crash. And a couple children on top.)

*I found this video through a friend who said, after watching, "I don't know whether I should go puke or start limbering up my back." The first 54 seconds are boring, but then "Watch out!"

My girls will now spontaneously break into "Solid Potato Salad, Solid Potato Salad." And they've tried to replicate a couple of those tricks--without ANY success. (Edited to add: I realize that the frozen picture which appears until you push the play button seems . . . .um. . . a bit provocative. Which is not really the flavor of the video at all. Sorry.)

*Birth stories (which I always become somewhat obsessed with the last half of my pregnancy) are a little bit obnoxious. Unless, of course, you read about them from the perspective of a labor and delivery nurse. In that case, they are CRAZY funny. Or just plain crazy. You need to read this blog. She hasn't updated since I found her before I had Bella, but read her anyway. (DISCLAIMER: Obviously, birth is a messy process, involving not-normally-seen-in-public body parts. Even though this nurse does not have any pictures of said parts, she does mention them, and their functions, with regularity. Consider yourself warned if you are squeamish.)

*I've made six of these with six fat quarters from my favorite shop in the whole wide world. For teacher gifts. And now I'm not sure I want to give them up. But what could I myself do with six clutches? Do you think they'd all fit in my purse? (One for receipts. One for gum packages. One for gum wrappers. Hm. . . . )

More Lessons from a Caribbean Cruise

7.  A lot of food is lovely to look at, but you'd never eat it.  Like this. . . .  (that fruit turkey is actually made on the base of a real roasted turkey)

. . . .and this.  (Lobster hat--awesome!)

And some food is amazingly pretty and delicious.

8.  Having someone clean your room and turn down your bed every night is fantastic.  I could definitely get used to that.

9.  Glass pianos exist.  And when you play one (which I didn't do), you look cooler than if you play a plain black piano.

10.  Notre Dame memorabilia is everywhere.  Even in the art gallery of an Italian cruise ship floating around the Caribbean.  Also, no matter how cool the memorabilia (even a national championship jersey signed by Joe Montana), it can be made incredibly uncool by a dorky model.

11.  I have more in common with four 50- and 60-year olds (our dinner table companions) than I do with the undergrad couple we ate with at lunch.  I'm a premature old-fogey, apparently.

12.  Mormons will find other Mormons.  One little BYU insignia will draw every Mormon in miles, and you'll soon all be fast friends.

13.  I can go on a one-week trip to a place where I have never been and toward which I have no opinion (can you imagine that there actually exist issues where i DON'T have an opinion?) and come out with lots of strong, possibly unreasonable opinions.  I will list them here:
*The British Virgin Islands are the most beautiful islands in the Caribbean, and I would love to spend a month sailing from one to the next and eating loads of delicious tropical fruit and seafood.
*The Bahamas are crazy--crazy traffic, crazy inhabitants, crazy tourist chasing.  I don't need to go back there.
*Old San Juan in Puerto Rico is an amazing example of why the Spanish had such an enormous empire.  They really knew how to build a) forts, b) walls, and c)cannons.  Plus, the whole island (which I did not see, but that won't stop me from declaring an opinion) is an awesome amalgamation of the U.S. and Latin America.
*I'm pretty sure that we saved $300 (at least) by not needing alcohol to make our vacation complete.  And we only spent $10 on ice cream (which I do need to make a vacation complete), so I think we came out ahead.

14.  John is still my favorite, favorite vacation partner.  Nice to relearn that.

Things I Learned on a Caribbean Cruise

John and I got back Sunday from a CME cruise to the Caribbean.  Here are some of the (surprising, and not so surprising) things I learned.


1.  If you go on a cruise as a relatively fit, early-thirties couple, you will find yourself in the bottom 25th percentile of both age and girth for the ship's population.  (This lesson could actually be expanded upon to include such disturbing things as fat-roll tan-lines and XXXXL speedos, but I'll spare you all.)

2.  The extraordinarily bratty and demanding are probably a minority of any population, but in an enclosed space (even a space as large as a 15-deck cruise ship) they quickly seem to become the majority.
      
3.  Even inanities (such as "Please keep your arms and legs inside the bus at all times.") are absolutely charming when spoken with the accent of the British Virgin Islands.  Also, a car in the BVI without a horn is about as much good as a car without an engine.  You definitely need one if you are going to get around huge trucks like these. . .

. . . on crazy mountain roads like this.

(Of all the days to forget my camera, I didn't bring it as we toured Tortola, and that was the place I needed it most.  So the pictures above have been snatched from the World Wide Webs.)
4.  When given the opportunity to nap, lounge, and read as I see fit, I will a) nap every day, b) read 5 books in 5 days, and c) lounge like a cat.  And I won't get sick of it.

(Edited to add the books I read:  The Complete Short Stories of Dorothy Sayers (LOVE her and her Lord Peter stories--didn't care so much for her murderer-viewpoint stories), Spartan Gold by Clive Cussler (as ridiculous and unintentionally funny as all his books are), My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok (I'm still working through my opinion on this, but it's definitely worth reading.), The American Plague by Molly Something (fascinating and disturbing--my perspective on yellow fever is forever changed), and Black Sheep by Georgette Heyer (delightful and brainless, as all her books are). )
5.  Sometimes the most memorable part of a day won't be the historic forts visited.

Or the pile of enormous cannonballs found.

Or the miles and miles and miles you walk along huge stone walls you weren't even aware existed the day before.

Sometimes the most memorable part of a day will be that my sweet military-history-obsessed husband will notice how longingly I watch all the kites being flown on a Puerto-Rican holiday in a Puerto-Rican field . . .

. . . find an abandoned, broken-down kite, . . .

. . . repair it and restring it with more discarded materials. . .

 . . . and launch it into the windy sea air patiently again and again until it finally takes flight and I giggle with delight like I'm six years old again. 

6.  A very frivolous, very yellow, very impractical pair of wedge sandals is exactly the purchase that should be made the day before embarking on an a cruise-like adventure.  It won't be regretted. 

(I think six lessons are enough for one post.  I'll continue with this tomorrow.)

Because I might be a celebrity someday. . .

. . . I would like to use today's post to showcase my skills as a celebrity endorser. (I think there's actually a word for that, but I can't remember it right now.) Now, as I have not heretofore demonstrated my knack for endorsement, I am not actually being paid by any of these companies to be their shill, but just you wait. I can almost hear the money rolling in now.

First, I would like to endorse Suave Rosemary & Mint Shampoo. (I tried to find a link and/or photo for you all, but . . . sorry.) This stuff makes me feel like I have a mini Aveda salon in my personal shower--all at Suave prices. The smell is seriously amazing. Considering that my hair is quite short, my shampoo standards consist of 1)cleans my hair and 2) smells good. Requirement #1 is filled competently, and I have no complaints. Requirement #2 surpasses any expectations I had. Try it.

Second, I would like to endorse this recipe for Yogurt Parmesan Chicken (posted on the Anderson Ladies Recipe blog, which I also endorse. I'm telling you, my brothers all married excellent cooks. Everything I've tried from that blog is deeee-licious.) I got this recipe at a church recipe swap from Stacy Andrew, but apparently it originates with Nadine Bailey. It's easy and delicious. It feeds the missionaries beautifully, my kids love it (they'll even eat the sauce, and that's saying something), and it's one of those meals that feels almost fancy. (Maybe it's because I always put the lime sauce on the table in one of my wedding china cream jugs. That's probably it.)

I also am putting in a ringing endorsement for the sunshine we've seen today. I recognize that I'm starved for sunshine in the winter, but I don't think I realize how starved I am until we get a day where the sky is blue and the sun shines down and streams through the windows and I can't tear myself away from the couch in the living room, which gets the perfect bright patch, right in the middle. (Whew! That was a long sentence.) Even sitting in front of the computer, I'm getting warmed across the shoulders. I love it. And I'm drinking it in, because I know it's going to be gone tomorrow.

Also, I'm talking about Girl Scout Thin Mints, but do those really need a celebrity endorsement? I mean, they've already got all those cute little girls going door-to-door.

Oh--and really this should have been first, Neo-Citran. This is some sort of Canadian wonder-drug (thank you, Kelly Galbraith!), and it's fantastic. It's the reason I can smell that Yogurt Chicken and those delicious Thin Mints. It's also responsible for the wonderful two nights of sleep I've had recently. I was beginning to think my silly little head-cold was never going away, but this stuff--this stuff showed it the door. Next trip any of you take over the border, pick me up a year's supply of it, okay? (What I don't endorse: the taste. Yuck. And I also don't endorse using it more than an hour before bedtime, unless you love the idea of your children running amok with no conscious parental supervision.)

What do you endorse?

In my Monologue

Inspired by this SNL monologue from Taylor Swift, (Seriously, people, if you have four minutes to spare, you should watch it.  Even if you have only a smidge of pop culture love in your soul, it's worth it.)  and horrified by the fact that I have not blogged in nearly a month, I have decided to write about all the things this post is NOT about.
*  I'm not going to post about the tremendous amount of vomit my smallest child has produced over the last three weeks.  This is for two reasons.  #1)  It wouldn't be fair to brag about her prodigious ability to puke when she has also been spewing amazingly in other ways, if you know what I mean.  and #2)  My dad and my husband, bless their teasing hearts, love to take any possible opportunity to share all the synonyms they know for "throw up" and in my weakened, I've-been-cleaning-up-barf-for-a-million-years condition, I just couldn't handle it.
*  This post is not about the wonderful time we had in Utah over Christmas break.  I won't talk about all the amazing fun we had with my entire family (EVERYONE made it) at the Fish Lake cabin, sledding and ice fishing and eating, eating, eating for a week.  I also won't mention that it was wonderful to stay with John's family for a few days after that, seeing Chris and Krista and their darling kids.
*  This post is certainly not a 2009 "wrap-up", hitting our year's highlights and favorites.  I know I've done that every year, and I mean to do it again, but I'm just not doing it now.
*  I don't want to write this post about how little Olivia, with all her rule-following self, gave herself a haircut BEFORE asking politely if she was allowed to cut her own hair.  That was also, obviously, before she received the answer of a definite "No" from her mother.  I won't be posting pictures here of the salvage job that Kelly did, repairing Olivia's "trim," but if I were to post pictures, you would see that her poor decision has led to an unfairly cute little bob.  I don't think she's learned her lesson.
*  I'm not posting about "Crazy Hat Day" that we attended at Chik-Fil-A today, with homemade hats on our head and free chicken sandwiches in our stomachs.  It was fun to meet our friends there and delicious to have such a treat, but I'm not writing about it.
*  This post is also not to share one of my other sweet Taylor Swift finds, "Firelight."  If I were to write about it, I would mention that I am not a "Twilight" fan, having read only the first book and not having seen any of the movies, but I still think I would find it funny if I was.  I would also write that you would be surprised how quotable this piece of dialogue from the segment is:
Phillip:  "Say it.  Out Loud."
Stella [biting her lip]:  Frankenstein.
It really can find its way into nearly every snatch of conversation. 
*  And even though it seems like it, this post is actually not an Ode to Hulu.  That would be a great post, but that's just not what this post is about.

Today

Picture unrelated to post except it shows three things I love

Things I love today:
*Crisp air and bright sunshine, especially after last night's thunderstorm.
*A lovely friend entertaining Naomi downstairs.
*Refashioning princess dresses for my girls from thrift-store prom dresses (only $5 each!)
*Getting up early to read my scriptures each day for a month. It's fantastic the difference this has made to my attitude and priorities. (Have I learned this lesson before? Absolutely. Will I probably have to learn it again sometime in life? Almost certainly. Let's hope it won't take too many more slips before this becomes a permanent habit.)

Things that still frustrate me:
*Trying to figure out time slots for cleaning the house, feeding the children, and exercising in the same day. I can't even quite get that worked out, but my sanity requires creative time, and I'd love to offer help to my friends who need it. My routine is still definitely a work in progress.
*That the window of opportunity for a baby to have a great nap is almost infinitesimally small. If you miss it, BOOM!, you may have doomed yourself for the rest of the day.
*That Google Reader doesn't work with private blogs. WHY NOT, fancy-pants Google Reader? You know my Blogger login. It seems you ought to be able to read those private blogs that I'm allowed to read. However, G.R., please don't take offense at my ire. Other than that (and especially with this little trick), you have made keeping up with my blogging friends a joy of efficiency. So, really, my complaint is just minor. Please don't kick me out.

Grow Up, Em.

I remember in my Child Development course at BYU, we covered the three myths of adolescence. One was the Myth of Invincibility, teenagers believing they can never die. I've forgotten the second myth, but the gist of the third was (in much more eloquent words that I do not now remember) that every teenager believes that everyone is watching them and talking about them and noticing their every mistake. I thought I had long ago matured beyond adolescence, but I found out otherwise last Sunday.
The organist in our ward is a woman, whom, for the sake of protecting the innocent, we will call "Carol". She is a wonderful musician and a very kind person. She also sits on the second row in Relief Society every Sunday where I am the pianist. Every time I make a mistake, I cringe, thinking (without any justification) that Carol must have noticed and thought badly of me (after all, I'm sure she never makes a mistake). Every time I embellish the music during prelude or postlude, I'm sure that Carol, sitting 5 feet away, is chuckling inside at my pathetic attempts. She is the only person in that entire room that makes me feel self-conscious about my playing, and she's not even doing anything.
I had been asked by the Relief Society Choir Director to play the piano at a musical number. I told her I would be delighted, but that I was unable to make the first practice. She said it would be fine, that Carol could cover the accompaniment for practice, and she would get me the music on Sunday at church. On Sunday, she and Carol were talking music after Relief Society, so I joined them, thinking they would want me to get the music. Kennan, the chorister, said, "Oh, Emilee. Apparently Carol and I had a miscommunication, and we both got accompanists for the musical number. I know you were going to have to get a babysitter to make it to the meeting, so are you okay if Shanda plays instead?"
Carol looked at me in surprise and said, "Oh. Do you play the piano?"
I was completely taken back, and at first just a teeny bit offended. Yes, Carol, I have been playing the piano, five feet from you, in Relief Society, for an entire year. And then I saw the irony. All my self-conscious worries were focused on a person who hadn't noticed me at all.
I'll start trying, once again, not to take myself too seriously. (And maybe I can stop acting like a 13-year old.)

Top Ten From Utah

I'll have to add pictures later, but here are the top ten from our recent expedition to Utah.
In order of their appearance in my head. . .

10. The mountains. Ohh--the mountains. I love the green, green trees and expansive fields of the Midwest, but when you grow up with mountains, how can anything else compare?

9. A talk given by R. L. Wilcox my first Sunday home. Maybe the best combination of clear doctrine, sweet kindness, fun story, and side-splitting humor I've ever heard in a sacrament meeting address. (I need to tell the story later. It starts with a crazy old hermit in an overheating old truck and ends with some gnats stuck in Preparation H. Best. Story. Ever.)

8. Meeting my brother Mike's delightful wife Kelly for the second time. She is gracious, hospitable, and game to do anything. Good choice, Mike. You did your family proud.

7. Seeing my brother Pete for the first time in over two years. He is taller, nicer, and, if possible, even skinnier than when he left. He is also worriesomely (is that a word?) righteous. Mike and Dave, I expect you to work on that.

6. The Draper Temple Open House. So beautiful and peaceful. Bella took the opportunity, while everyone was being especially reverent in the celestial room, to express her very loud delight at the experience.

5. Watching the BYU women's basketball team, even if they did lose to the University of Utah. My cousin Mindy plays for BYU, and she is lightning quick and incredibly coordinated. I've decided that every family has a quota of athletic ability, and I must have agreed before birth to allow my portion to go to Mindy. (Well, probably my portion and the portion of all my children and future children--she's that good.) So, I'm going to claim a little credit for her fantasticness.

4. Hiking through the desert near Indian Creek, north of Monticello, with John's dad and older brother. You should have seen my girls and their delight at the endless expanse of red rock to climb, red pebbles to throw in the water, and red sand to stomp in. It reignited my love of the area.

3. The "Princess and the Pea" party my mother-in-law threw for my girls. She has an enormous bed in one of the guest rooms, and the girls were tested to see if they were true princesses. Beginning with a very princesslike enormous bubble bath and ending in a removal of the peas from under the mattress because they were so intrusive, it was a fantastic experience indeed.

2. Watching three of my brothers play intramural football on the fields west of the RB. Sure, I felt ancient, among all those singles and newlyweds. But it was so exciting to see the team they've put together and hear the much-vaunted trash talk.

1. Having my kids, my husband, my siblings, my parents, and my in-laws all in one place. It's lovely to be with people who love my girls. Where I never feel like a burden when I troop in with my tired and noisy entourage.

It was wonderful.

Is the sunshine at your house today?

Oh, I have missed the sunshine.And other things that make me happy:
Valentine's Day Banner. The girls and I had great fun putting this together.
Look who is joining us at the dinner table! I hate high chairs and all the space they commandeer in the dining room, so we are just going to use the booster. It's quite a bit of work for Bella's abs to keep herself upright for an entire mealtime. (And I know she looks like she has a mad combover, but she normally looks much fluffier and less old man-like.)
The Niles Ice Festival was loads of fun. We headed up to Niles, Michigan with the Corry family on the warmest day of the festival (+19 instead of -19--that's downright balmy), and all of us still froze solid after an hour of wandering, but it was fun anyway.This sculpture of a weedy sea dragon was my favorite. Can you imagine trying to keep this thing balanced?And I think Jacob Corry worked for 20 minutes trying to get all the kids positioned for this picture. All of them kept trying to slide down the front while the others were being pulled up. For the record, this little mountain of snow was much taller than it appears.

Recommendations

To watch:
What You Ought to Know
I love these video podcasts. Very funny.
North and South -- A grittier Pride and Prejudice

To read:
Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson (if you are open to the idea of what my friend Sara calls "dragon books", but which the rest of the world terms "fantasy")
Citizen Soldiers by Stephen Ambrose (best WWII book I've read yet)
The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman (non-fiction, about the Hmong people of Southeast Asia and their cultural clashes with Western medicine)
Babycatcher by Peggy Vincent (very interesting--so interesting, in fact, it almost convinced me to have a non-medicated homebirth. Well, almost convinced me to consider the possibility of a non-medicated homebirth. Maybe just to consider the very remote possibility.)
Canning Season by Polly Horvath (So funny. If you are someone who thinks that people getting eaten by bears can be absolutely hysterically funny, this is the book for you. I'm that kind of person.)

And fun websites to check out:
Creative Chicks at Play -- fun and crafty sisters (I especially like this dress, and this butterfly wall.)
This Young House -- such a fantastic resource for do-it-yourself-ers. They have loads of great ideas.
Pioneer Woman Cooks! -- Doesn't everyone read this? I've never made one of her recipes (although they all get rave reviews), but I think she is worth reading just because she's so funny.

Now I want to get your recommendations. Books? Movies? Websites? Recipes? Craft projects? I'm in the winter doldrums, and I need some fresh material.

Personal Yom Kippur

I love the idea of Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. Not being Jewish, I'm not completely versed with how it works, but my understanding is this: Once a year, each person makes good with everyone they have offended or been offended by. I've been thinking this holiday season about the mistakes I have made in my past, and the people I wish I could contact and repair things with. I'm going to use this blog post as an open letter. I wish I could really make things right.

To the person whose truck my van door scraped in the Wal-Mart parking lot: I'm so very, very sorry. The wind caught my door and blew it open. The scrape wasn't very big, and I wanted to write a note, but I didn't have a paper or pen in my car. I went inside to borrow a pen and paper to write a note to put on your windshield, but when I got back, you were already gone. Forgive me for being relieved that I wouldn't actually have to face you.

To every boy I ever dated: I was the world's worst girlfriend, and I'm so sorry. I was mean when I should have been kind. I teased when I should have been sympathetic. I was so concerned about not appearing "easy" that I hardly showed affection. I can't believe any of you stuck with me for any amount of time. I would tell my brothers to dump any girl that treated them like I treated you as quickly as they could. Please forgive me. (As a side note to John: Thank you for sticking it out. Why you did, I'll never know, but I really appreciate it, and after a brief stint as "World's Worst Wife", I'm making a much better showing, wouldn't you say?)

To Mr. Boyle, my sixth grade teacher: I lied to you when I said that my homework was in the other classroom. It wasn't. I hadn't done it. I think you knew this, but I want to come clean anyway. Thank you for letting it not be a big deal.

To the boy (whom I shall not name) that I slapped VERY hard five times across the face on a band bus trip: You were out of line, but I was much more violent that was necessary.

To another guy (whose last name I do not remember) who took me on a date and then scared me while playing tag at a playground: You were right. Slapping (again) was an overreaction. I'm sorry.

To my cousins from Taft, California/Henderson, Nevada: I would like to apologize for all those wild lies I told every time I came to visit. Every. Single. Time. It's true that they were a lot more interesting than reality, but they were still not even close. Sorry.

To the bookclub in Toledo, Ohio: Sorry for all my outrageousness every month. My opinions did not need to be expressed so loudly, so absolutely, nor at such short intervals. I should not have interrupted every time someone else dared to open their mouth. Thank you for still welcoming me when I came back for a baby shower.

I'm absolutely full of apologies today. Do you need one? Who else have I offended?

Seven Things

The haircut is pending. I still haven't decided, but it looks like the votes are mostly for "a".

My cousin Andrea tagged me, so here goes--

7 things I can do:
1. Sew little girls' dresses like a champ. Dresses for grown women are much more hit-or-miss.
2. Run down the stairs, across the living room, and slide in my wool socks from one end of the dining room to the other. This never fails to impress my children.
3. Nurse a baby while blog-surfing.
4. Play the piano.
5. Make a week's worth of groceries stretch for two weeks. (Yes, I really hate grocery shopping that much.)
6. Sing all the words to "Happy Little Working Song" from Enchanted. :)
7. Survive three months in a row of John on call. (It's done, behind me, and I'll never have to do it again. . . knock on wood.)

7 things I can't do:
1. Sleep well when John is not home.
2. Remember to get the library videos back on time.
3. Stop talking about myself.
4. Go back and finish a project I got frustrated with and set aside.
5. Use Superglue without gluing all my fingers together
6. Follow a recipe without changing something.
7. Write un-punctuated and un-capitalized text messages on my cellphone.

7 things that attracted me to John:
1. His steadiness and ability to stay calm in a catastrophe
2. His eyes
3. His smile
4. His kindness
5. His steadfastness in the gospel
6. His desire to serve those in need
7. His sense of humor

7 things I often say:
1. Apparently. . .
2. Yes, it IS fair.
3. Do you think that was good choice?
4. Is that how we speak to our mom (or sister or friend)?
5. Try again, but use your cheerful voice.
6. Don't you tease me.
7. I'm done.

7 People I admire:
(This is the hardest question--how do you narrow it to 7?)
1. John (he really NEVER gets mad--how does he do it? And can you believe he stuck with me through my entire "World's Worst Girlfriend" and "World's Worst Fiance" stages?)
2. My mom
3. My dad
4. Brother Black (my high school seminary teacher)
5. My grandparents (all of them, because if I list them separately, I run out of slots)
6. The creative genius behind the idea of blogs
7. My brother Pete for making it out of the MHS class of 2006 alive

7 Favorite Foods:
1. Alfredo chicken pizza
2. Spinach and strawberry salad
3. Chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips
4. Twix
5. Spinach pie
6. Waffles with strawberries and whipped cream
7. Roasted asparagus or cauliflower

7 People I tag:
1. Amy DeWaal
2. Kelly Galbraith
3. Kellie Story
4. April Born
5. Nissan Alicia Lucio Garcia de la Rosa McCandlish
6. Martha Taylor
7. Bonnie Wheeler

(I've seen this tag around, and I hope I didn't tag someone who has already been tagged. Or not tag someone who would like to be tagged. This is more stressful than it should be.)

Speaking of Hair

When I'm pregnant, my hair grows long and thick. I have way more hair than I usually have, and it grows so quickly that I never keep it short. However, there is a point postpartum, where all that hair betrays me and begins to fall out in enormous gobs while I am washing it. The good news is that this usually coincides with the same point where my newborn discovers the joy of pulling my long hair anytime her tight little fist is in the same general vicinity as my head. (Roughly speaking, about 90% of her waking hours.)
So, it's time for a haircut. I usually donate the 10 or so inches of extra to Locks of Love, so I'm going short--quite short. I want some input. Here is what I look like now. Do you have any idea how hard it is to take a good picture of yourself? Either you aim wrong. . .
. . . or your eyebrows raise involuntarily. . .
. . . or your tongue sticks in your cheek with the frustration of it all.
That was just a refresher, for all of you who haven't seen me in a while. (And who am I kidding. How often is my hair actually down? Once a week, on Sunday. Most of the time it's in a ponytail or a pen-bun. So the pictures above were taken on a good day--a good hair day. Ignore the crazy wrinkles and bulges of my shirt. Definitely not a good shirt day.)

Here are my options:
(A)
Isn't that a cute little pixie cut? But that girl, Jesse Kelly-Landes, whoever she may be, has such a cute little pixie face to pull it off. Could I pull it off?

(B) Ignore the stain on my magazine cutting, please. She doesn't really have an enormous dog-spot birthmark.
John calls this look the "disheveled vagrant", but it looks easy to do. So easy, in fact, that I might actually do it every morning.

(C)
Do I have this texture of hair? No. Do I have this color of hair? No. Do I have this incredibly fabulous sweater? No. Somehow, I still like the haircut. But it's probably not an option for me.

(D) What list of short cuts would be complete without Katie "I'm-from-Toledo, too" Holmes?
Really, this is probably the most realistic of the options (cut and color-wise, I mean. The whole stylist-on-call/personal shopper/crazy movie-star husband/rich-rich-rich thing is probably out of my league.) But I feel a little cliche taking a picture of Katie Holmes to a stylist and asking for "this look."

(E)
I have, if you can't tell from the wrinkles, been carrying this picture around in my folder of ideas for a while. I love this haircut. Doesn't she look cute?

Are all these cuts exactly the same? Pretty much. I could go with some sort of chin-length bob. (But I must admit to being TERRIBLE with a round brush. I've really never been able to learn that skill. There are some people out there--Lyndsay Peterson and Becca Larsen, I'm talking to you--who always have perfectly round-brushed bobs. How do you do it? Is it a skill you are born with or can it realistically be learned?) What do you think? Give me the haircut you vote for, and if you have any other ideas, please tell them to me. I need some help.

Bibliography:
a) Tease ( a book about remaking t-shirts)
b) Glamour, October 2008
c) Knitpicks catalog, Fall 2008
d) Glamour, October 2008
e) Playtex Hip Hammock advertisement, circa 2005

Whew!

My dad was retained (by a healthy margin, even if he did lose Moab--I spit on that town), and Prop 8 passed. I feel relieved.