Thursday, November 29, 2012

In an effort to make the rest of you feel like great moms. . .

. . . I'm going to list Bella's most recent accomplishments:

1) Shampoo mess in our bathroom (blogged here)
2) Poured out all of my brother Pete eyedrops onto his deodorant, which she enthusiastically scrubbed with his toothbrush.  Then proceeded to stick all of his clothes together with his toothpaste.  Pete, I am SO SORRY!
3) Went to the neighbors' house to play yesterday and decided to "wipe up" their bathroom.  This involves gallons of water, a bottle of handsoap, and a rag.  She was so drenched when she was done that they had to change her into some of Lily's clothes before sending her home.
4)  Told my Grandma Nielson (my grandpa died a few years ago), "Hey, I know you!  Your boyfriend died."  Tactful.
5) Used the pump bottle of conditioner to liberally spatter the entire shower, herself, and her little sister.

I'm going to start putting her to bed at 9:00 a.m.

Monday, November 19, 2012

In case you were wondering.

If you've ever wondered whether dumping an entire bottle of shampoo onto the bathroom floor would make the floor really slippery and fun to slide around on, you're in good company.  Because Bella was wondering that same thing.  The answer is:  Yes.  Really, really slippery and really, really fun.

If  you've ever wondered whether kneeling in said shampoo would make your pajamas yucky and bubbly and slimy, you'd also be in good company.  Because Maddie was wondering the same thing, and her answer is:  Yes.  Really slimy, yucky, and bubbly.  The only solution to this problem is to scream loudly and tattle on your sister for spilling the shampoo.

If you'd put yourself squarely in the category of people who are pretty sure that cleaning up shampoo from off the bathroom floor is the last way you'd want to spend your Sunday evening because your hypothesis is that shampoo must be scrubbed again and again and again and again because its very existence depends on its ability to create suds from practically nothing, you are ALSO in good company.  Probably the best company.  Because you are in my company.  And our hypothesis is correct.  More correct than we would have wished.

As a side note, I wish to point out that although the five heads of girl hair in this family require us to purchase shampoo in bulk in Sam's Club, I have the foresight to make my strategy one of refilling our pump bottle only about half full every time I fill it.  For mitigation purposes, in case something like this happens (or in case someone decides to use the shampoo as bubble bath).  I hate to brag, but there it is.  #iamsobrilliant

Saturday, November 3, 2012


I don't know how the rest of the moms I know manage to take such great pictures of their kids in Halloween costumes.  I usually forget to take pictures at all, so it was great to have John's phone at the ready to capture our group halfway through the trick-or-treating.  (Of course, I also planted us directly in front of the setting sun.  Sorry if you feel blinded.)

From oldest to youngest, we have John, the Bad Doctor (he's our supervillain); me, Witchtastic (and I really wish you could see more of my awesome black-and-orange tights); Olivia, The Speedy Paintbrush; Naomi, aka Magnificent Mimi; Bella, aka Fireballa; and the small and daring Mad Madame Maddie.
 My mom and dad joined us for the whole week of Halloween.  However, my dad is the world's biggest Halloween Humbug, so he didn't come along for the trick-or-treating.  (He stayed home and handed out glowsticks to the two trick-or-treaters who bumbled along to our house.)
 We posed heroically.

 We dashed heroically out of scary houses (accompanied by Mario and Rainbow Dash).
 We posed heroically again.
 We delighted heroically in the enormous piles of candy we were heroically gathering.
 And we talked, heroically and at length, about our superpowers.  The Speedy Paintbrush can wield a magic paintbrush and make her paintings come to life.  Magnificent Mimi scores well on spelling tests and saves people from falling rocks.  Fireballa throws balls of fire at bad guys, and then she runs really fast.  Mad Madame Maddie mostly just runs down the halls of houses yelling her name.  (I'm sure that terrifies supervillains.  The Bad Doctor regularly finds himself stymied.)
P.S.  My sister also escaped Provo with her darling boyfriend, and the two of them were the champions of the extended trick-or-treating that my two older girls accomplished.  I have Annie and Shaylor to thank for the sugar high we've all been riding the past few days.  I