I love the idea of Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. Not being Jewish, I'm not completely versed with how it works, but my understanding is this: Once a year, each person makes good with everyone they have offended or been offended by. I've been thinking this holiday season about the mistakes I have made in my past, and the people I wish I could contact and repair things with. I'm going to use this blog post as an open letter. I wish I could really make things right.
To the person whose truck my van door scraped in the Wal-Mart parking lot: I'm so very, very sorry. The wind caught my door and blew it open. The scrape wasn't very big, and I wanted to write a note, but I didn't have a paper or pen in my car. I went inside to borrow a pen and paper to write a note to put on your windshield, but when I got back, you were already gone. Forgive me for being relieved that I wouldn't actually have to face you.
To every boy I ever dated: I was the world's worst girlfriend, and I'm so sorry. I was mean when I should have been kind. I teased when I should have been sympathetic. I was so concerned about not appearing "easy" that I hardly showed affection. I can't believe any of you stuck with me for any amount of time. I would tell my brothers to dump any girl that treated them like I treated you as quickly as they could. Please forgive me. (As a side note to John: Thank you for sticking it out. Why you did, I'll never know, but I really appreciate it, and after a brief stint as "World's Worst Wife", I'm making a much better showing, wouldn't you say?)
To Mr. Boyle, my sixth grade teacher: I lied to you when I said that my homework was in the other classroom. It wasn't. I hadn't done it. I think you knew this, but I want to come clean anyway. Thank you for letting it not be a big deal.
To the boy (whom I shall not name) that I slapped VERY hard five times across the face on a band bus trip: You were out of line, but I was much more violent that was necessary.
To another guy (whose last name I do not remember) who took me on a date and then scared me while playing tag at a playground: You were right. Slapping (again) was an overreaction. I'm sorry.
To my cousins from Taft, California/Henderson, Nevada: I would like to apologize for all those wild lies I told every time I came to visit. Every. Single. Time. It's true that they were a lot more interesting than reality, but they were still not even close. Sorry.
To the bookclub in Toledo, Ohio: Sorry for all my outrageousness every month. My opinions did not need to be expressed so loudly, so absolutely, nor at such short intervals. I should not have interrupted every time someone else dared to open their mouth. Thank you for still welcoming me when I came back for a baby shower.
I'm absolutely full of apologies today. Do you need one? Who else have I offended?