Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Ugly Side of Motherhood

(Warning: I'm talking about grossness today. Weak stomachs should move along to the next blog.)

Let me preface this post with saying I am the oldest of eight children, in a family with six boys. (Most of you already know this.) I came into motherhood as no stranger to gross. I used to believe that toilets just naturally yellowed under the lid and around the base, but even when I realized that the "natural yellowing" was really just the natural result of having at least one brother who was new to the potty training thing, I cleaned it up with only minor grumbling. (Only minor grumbling about the fact that it was pee. MAJOR grumbling about the fact that I was cleaning period.)
My baby brother had a terrible habit of puking almost as soon as he was put to bed on the nights when my mother was away. I have vivid resentful memories of cleaning these messes up. (My mom should rightfully point out that although did wipe up the floor, clean the baby, and put fresh sheets and pajamas on, my idea of cleaning the old bedding meant dumping it in the laundry room--where she would have to deal with it the next day.)
So, all this being said, I shouldn't have been surprised with all the little yucky things that come along with being a mom. I could talk about the hundreds of thousands of diaper changes. Or changing my clothes five times before going out in public because of the spit-up that inevitably splatters a clean shirt. (The Mother's Corollary to Murphy's Law?)
But what I've recently taken notice of are all those times where I let a puddle-jumping child wipe their hands on my jeans because they are suddenly horrified by the dirt. Or how I'll actually let them spit something they have chewed and deemed disgusting into my hand rather than let it dribble down their shirt. Or how I wipe yucky noses with my own sock (my sock is less visible than any other piece of clothing), when I don't have a tissue on hand. I think I was once a relatively normal human being, and I wonder what my 20-year old self would say if she could see me now. Probably just "Gross."

12 comments:

adventure knitter said...

That spit-up to the face is disgusting! Gross Em, seriously... But we've all experienced it. Baby Jack really only likes to spit up on me...I think of it as him marking me as "his own".

brittani c. said...

It's a disgusting and dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. Moms rule.

Cynthia and Steve said...

So true! It is disguisting, but as a mom you just deal with it.

By the way is the second picture of the newest baby? Whichever baby it is, you look really good for just having had a baby!

Emilee said...

The poop-on-my-shirt picture is Naomi. What reminded me of all this is that I've been pooped on several times by Bella. There is no picture documentation of this because John isn't home to take pictures. (His first reaction to something gross happening to me is to take a picture. Gotta love him.)

Sara said...

I'm not even your-20yearold-self and I say GROSS. But I say that while covered in smears of chocolate and marshmellow from Jenna's contraband snack. That darn Jenna.

Liz said...

I love the sock for a tissue idea! I'm going to try that the next time I am tissue-less. And I must say, even though I only have three brothers, reading about the yellow toilet brought back memories.

Brooke S said...

Thanks for reminding me how great it is to be a Mom, and thanks for the good laugh.

Story Family said...

I love how proud the top baby looks at her recent victory. So great!

How true, how true. But not gross. Just the way it is. I prefer the inside bottom of my shirt for tissue-less moments. Quite handy really. Only the boys seem to have picked up on it (I must be without tissues the majority of the time) and come home from school with snot streaks down their shirts. Looks like they don't bother to use the inside bottom. Gross!

Outlandish McCandlish said...

And you look so happy with fresh poop on you.

The Borns said...

Apparently "GROSSNESS" is a real up and coming theme among mothers! This is the second blog on my list that I've seen today that has used the word "grossness". I love being a mom! *Sigh*

Aimee said...

I love that you took pictures to document at least some of the grossness. Too funny.

The Pynes said...

Well, at least she's got decent aim!