Sunday, May 1, 2011

Late Easter

Here is the post I wrote for my Easter last week.  

I hope you all have souls full of the blessings of the Resurrection and the Atonement.  I intend to contemplate these wonderful gifts at some point in my life, but here's how my Easter Sunday went.

1)  Olivia refused to wear the flower hairclip that I made for her and also had a mutiny over the sleeves of her Easter dress.  "Too itchy."  Every single one of her sisters is in the same Easter dress uncomplainingly.  I'm sure you know that I handled that really well.
2)  Mimi and Liv fought ALL STINKIN' MORNING.  They were banished to separate rooms three times before we left for church.
3) Bella bounce-bounce-bounced on the pew through two baby blessings and the sacrament prayer.  Maddie, in full stranger-danger mode, refused to go to any of the well-meaning members of the congregation who were trying to help.
4) My new Easter dress, which I made for myself, is impossible to nurse in.  I'm obviously a genius.  So, taking Bella with me, I tried to nurse Maddie in the bathroom stall, sitting on the toilet and feeling like a pervert.  Bella opened the door on me twice, exposing me to the ladies out washing their hands.  Did I resort to threats?  Absolutely.
5) Did they work?  No.  She did stop opening the door, but she crawled underneath the door and started looking under the doors of the other stalls, asking questions like, "What you doing, huh?"  "You look like you pooping.  Are you pooping, huh?"  Awesome.  Should one apologize in this situation, or should one simply pretend that one is unrelated to the misbehaving child?
6)  After kids went to Primary and nursery, I took Maddie to Sunday School, where she looked darling in her Easter dress but screamed--SCREAMED--if anyone but me tried to touch her.  Again--awesome.  I sat her on the floor with all her little rubber toys, and she played happily for about 4 minutes.  Then I hear a choking sound and looked down to see Maddie's face all red and her eyes big.  I smacked her on the back to get her breathing again and she vomited.  First a gum wrapper (WHERE did she get a gum wrapper?), then her entire breakfast of sweet potatoes and all the milk she had consumed in our little pervert session in the bathroom stall.  Luckily for the church carpet, I caught most of the vomit in my church bag, where it promptly ruined all the visual aids for my lesson on the Atonement I was teaching in Young Women.  Again, awesome.
7) There was more, but I'm stopping here, since it's still too soon for this to be more funny than horrifying.  Suffice it to say, we are celebrating Easter next Sunday when John is back from Idaho.  Maybe I can feel the Spirit just one week late.

We did.  Church today, with John, was relatively soothing, spiritual, and peaceful.  We cooked a delicious dinner (most of prepared early, so I just made rolls while John made my grandma's famous raspberry ice cream), and celebrated Easter with some friends later this evening.  It was wonderful.  I love the opportunity to ponder the blessings given to us by our Savior and recommit to living my life as He would have me do.  As always, I'm just a little bit late.


Mags said...

bless your soul em! you are a real woman.

Liz said...

So funny! And yet so sad for you! I have spent many hours nursing in restrooms and it is not fun. However, I at the time I was not 'lucky' enough to have a toddler spying on the people nearby! Oh Em, you are a super mom to stay the entire three blocks! I probably would have given up and gone home.

adventure knitter said...

oh my goodness! you're too funny. i agree w/ the last comment...i would have gone home.

Emilee said...

I was teaching in Young Women, so I really couldn't go home. Plus, after I make it through sacrament meeting, it's only Maddie I have to take care of, and if I go home, I have all four of my kids under my responsibility. Thinking like that makes my decision easy.

Story Family said...

Em, I loved it! It's just s'darn true! Church without a husband and four kids is always a blast. I'm right there with ya!

Lindsay said...

Why does motherhood have to be like that? I feel your pain. I'm glad Sunday went better....having a husband there always makes things easier.

Outlandish McCandlish said...

I belly laughed while reading this. I almost pee'd my self! I love you.