Thursday, October 30, 2008

Tuesday at 4:30

Tuesday night was our church's trunk or treat activity. It's so much fun, and I love going every year (we had the same thing in Toledo). The event started at 6:00. (I have pictures, and I will be doing a big Halloween post after tomorrow.) My day went something like this.
11:30 a.m. -- Real estate agent/tour guide Betty Sandstrom drops off the wife of a residency candidate at my house after giving her the inside scoop on South Bend. My job is to get Carissa to a lunch put on by the wives' of the residents.
12:00 p.m. -- We arrive at the luncheon and laugh and talk and laugh and talk some more.
2:20 p.m. -- We leave the lunch and I take Carissa to the clinic where she can rendezvous with her husband. Tracy takes Mimi with her to her house to play for a couple hours.
2:40 p.m. -- I arrive home, just after Olivia's bus gets there (darn stop lights!) to find her almost panicking. I stop the panicking and throw her into the car. We need to run some errands.
3:00 p.m. -- We go to Target, trying to find two crowns to complete the princess costumes. I find several expensive ugly options and a couple WAY more expensive lovely options and determine that I can make a cute crown for much cheaper.
4:00 p.m. -- We leave Target to make a mad dash to Jo-Ann's to get materials to make better crowns.
4:15 p.m. -- Leave Jo-Ann's after a World Record setting Shortest Jo-Ann Trip Ever.
4:20 p.m. -- Arrive at Tracy's house to pick up Mimi. Search for Mimi's boots, throw her screaming over my shoulder and drive home. Bella begins to whimper.
4:25 p.m. -- We arrive home. Bella is beginning to wail.

This is where I warp the time-space continuum. I am convinced that all these things happened simultaneously at 4:30 p. m.
4:30 p.m. -- I grab Naomi's unworn, but somehow chocolate-stained, white princess gown from the sewing room and throw it in the washing machine.
Make a pattern for the fabric crowns.
Pick up the now hysterical Annabel, and she vomits all over my clothes.
Go to my room to change my shirt and answer the ringing phone just before the answering machine picks up.
Confirm to John on the other end of the phone that the trunk-or-treat is indeed tonight and yes, I want him home as soon as possible. He tells me he is done and will arrive shortly.
Still 4:30 p.m.--I take off my pukey shirt to change it and attempt to console a baby who is convinced one of her fingers has been chopped off.
Baby is inconsolable, and crowns still have to be made.
I put on my Moby Wrap (FANTASTIC invention--and usually a failsafe cry-stopper) and put Bella in it.
Realize I have not changed my shirt and am wrapped in only my pants and undergarments.
Decide the crowns still have to be made and I do not have time to change my shirt and rewrap the baby.
Start ironing interfacing to the gold and silver fabric for the crowns.
Begin to suspect that I am losing hearing in my right ear.
Rapidly cut out and sew crowns together, temporarily forgetting that Olivia's head is quite a bit bigger than Naomi's.
Try the crowns on the girls and nearly cry when one doesn't fit.
Ingeniously fix the situation with longer pieces of velcro
STILL 4:30 p.m.
Reach for the curling iron under the girls' sink and realize I must have thrown it away by accident when attempting to hurriedly put it in the hair accessories basket next to their garbage can.
Curse that I have already gelled Olivia's hair in preparation for the curling iron.
Bounce the still incredibly angry baby.
Do what I can with the triple-barrel curling iron on hair that is about 6 inches long.
Hear the garage door open and look at the clock.
BOOM! 5:50 p.m.
How did that happen? How did I lose 1-1/2 hours somehow?
5:51 p.m. - Yell at John to throw Mimi's dress in the dryer and at Mimi to open the door to whoever is knocking.
5:52 p.m. - Smile sweetly at Simone (our 6-year old Chinese neighbor) and take a bite of whatever delicious ethnic treat she has brought to share with us.
5:53 p.m. - Throw Olivia's dress on over her head and race down to the basement to get the pea costume out of the laundry room.
5:54 p.m. - Quickly explain to Simone where we are going while running upstairs.
5:55 p.m. - Drag a comb through Mimi's hair and arrange her veil over her crown.
5:56 p.m. - Rearrange Olivia's hair because "pieces are sticking up and I hate it when pieces stick up."
5:57 p.m. - Race downstairs to drag my fairy godmother costume out of the Halloween box.
5:58 pm. - Braid and pin up my hair to fit it under my hat/wig.
5:59 p.m. - DON'T scream when John is checking e-mail upstairs, and calmly hand him the baby (who IS screaming).
6:00 p.m. - Grab Mimi's dress out of the dryer. Say a silent prayer of thanks that polyester dries so quickly.
6:01 p.m. - Throw Mimi's dress over her head.
6:02 p.m. - Sweetly, with gritted teeth, answer John's innocent question of "What should I be for Halloween?"
6:03 p.m. - Smilingly help Simone to exit the house.
6:04 p.m. - Draw a moustache on my husband's face with eyeliner and shepherd everyone out the door.
6;30 p.m. - Arrive at the trunk or treat. Have a delightful time. Girls' crowns are in my pocket after 20 minutes.
9:00 p.m. - Slump exhaustedly through my home door.


Lyndsay said...

Wait a second--so did you go to the Halloween party in just your Moby Wrap and undergarments? Oh la la!

Emilee said...

Oh--wouldn't that have made this story so much better? I almost wish I had. Alas, I did put a shirt on shortly after I handed the baby to John.

Cynthia and Steve said...

I love how John thinks he has time to check his email. Lovely. You are a super mom!

Lyle said...

Please explain to me what was the problem with John checking his email.

Irish Cream said...

WOW! You made the crowns just before trunk-or-treat, WITH a screaming baby in a Moby wrap!???!

Ok, supermom, I need some coaching.

I'd have scrapped the crowns, thrown the chocolate-stained (or still wet) dress on the youngest, or told her to grab something else from the dress-up box, and I most definitely would have been castigating my hubby for showing up hours late and checking his email while I frantically run around the house half-dressed.

You are amazing! Oh, and I also need some sewing instructions; you made your own crown pattern!?

Liz said...

Hilarious. You are awesome to have persevered. I totally would not have.

Mags said...

I used to wonder why halloween made my mom cranky. At about 5:30 p.m. every oct 31st, everyone in town could here her loud declaration, "I Hate Halloween!!!"

brittani c. said...

That post was exhausting. You handled it very well because I would have died of hyperventilation right in the middle of the family room. I'm looking forward to pictures of the outcome!

Bonnie said...

I love the play by play! It sounds like every sunday morning at my house minus the screaming baby. I get so mad when Jeff is checking emails when I am working so hard to get everyone ready! You are such a great mom. And your grils looked so cute!

Eric.Lindsay.Sam said...

I'm officially FREAKED out about having a 2nd child. You are AMAZING!

adventure knitter said...

W-O-W! what a day. why is it that we care so much about cute costumes for halloween? especially when we end up holding accessories 10 mins later...