Sunday, November 15, 2009

In True Emilee Fashion

I want to tell a little story.  I have no pictures, for two reasons.  1)  I would actually like to pretend this never happened; and 2) I didn't think anything would happen when I left the house that fateful Monday afternoon.

It went like this.  Monday morning I woke up and, as usual, roused Olivia from her slumber so deep, helped her shrug into her clothes and sling on her backpack, and sent her out the door.  John, on one oh-so-lucky day, was not expected at clinic until 9:30 (can you believe it?), so he ate breakfast with the rest of us and watched as I headed out the door to my preschool carpooling duties.  When I frantically returned inside five minutes later, he asked if I was already back, and I responded (frazzledly) that I hadn't yet left.  My keys were lost.  (Note:  They were left at church, actually.  If I don't take my bag into the building, I can not reasonably be expected to leave with my keys.  Dresses need more pockets.)  He kindly and patiently gave me the van key from his key ring and told me to be careful, since it was nearly our last copy.  We have one set of spares in the file box for emergencies.
I took the girls to preschool without incident.  I ran several errands, again without incident.  I was so very, very careful with that little unattached key.  I placed it carefully and thoughtfully in my pocket after each use.  I was determined, with all my deserved reputation as a key loser, to keep this key intact until I could return it to John.
At 4:30, as usual, we headed to ballet class.  At 5:15, as usual, we left ballet class to go to our van.  I felt the little key in my pocket as I said my goodbyes to our ballet class friends, and started buckling everyone into the van.  Then I went to start the van, and the key was gone.  When I have my full, very large key-chained-and-carabinered set of keys with me, I simply toss the keys onto the driver's seat after unlocking the van, so I figured I must have done the same with the single key.  I had not.  We took everything out of the van, removed all of the junk.  No key.  Went back into the building and scoured the waiting room.  No key. Removed all the carseats.  No key.  Removed the captain's chairs and bench.  No key, and we've been there for an hour. 
A friend walks by, so I borrow her cell phone to call John.  He had just arrived at a recruiting dinner, and as I start to tell my story, my calm voice dissolves into tears.  I was embarrassed and apologetic.  He drove home (10 minutes) and drove to us (10 minutes) with the spare set.  I assured him I would immediately go to the store and have 5 extra keys made.
The first store I checked wasn't open.  I ran into the second store, leaving my children in the locked van while I went to check if they made keys.  They didn't, and when I ran back to the van, I saw a key in the lock of my van.  A shock went through my heart, and the first thing I thought was "Someone has unlocked my van to take my kids."  Then I realized, IT WAS MY KEY.  I had put it in the lock, but when the van was already unlocked, I had forgotten I had ever done that.
Please tell me that some of you do dumb things too.

12 comments:

brittani c. said...

You always have something utterly delightful to read on your blog. I am the queen of dumb things...I just need to dye my hair blonde to make it more complete. The number of dumb things I do exponentially grows when I'm pregnant (so, are you pregnant?!? If so, dish it out). :)

Glad you found your key in the end! Happy ending.

Mags said...

3 times in the last week i've been driving and suddenly find myself taking a wrong turn or automatically heading towards the church, even though i'm not on my way to church or just driving off the wrong exit, not because i think it is the right exit but because i'm just heading in a usual direction and not paying any attention. i think i have adult onset adhd.

Emilee said...

Brittani, I am not pregnant. I wish I could say that this ranks on the scale of the dumb things that I do when I am pregnant. Unfortunately, this is just run-of-the-mill dumb for me. (I mean, of course it was funny dumb, since I needed to blog about it, but no more thoughtless than usual.)

Sara said...

And now I'd like to remind you that Joe did this exact same key-leaving-in-the-lock thing when he parked the van on the streets of downtown Indianapolis for four nighttime hours while we went to a baseball game.

You make me laugh. Did you get your five extra keys made?

Holli said...

You're hilarious! I can no longer speak in complete sentences since Elise was born. I often start a sentence and can't find a word I need. It's especially convenient when I'm teaching Relief Society.

Michelle and I got together with Wendy when she was in town and we missed you!

Renae said...

It is a funny story, although very stressful at the time for you. My mom locked the keys in her car, with it ON! At least no one stole your car :). Crazy story!

Jill, Glen, Matthew, and Taylor said...

I am glad other people lose their keys as much as I do. Very funny

Stephanie said...

Em, I feel your pain, I am a list maker and it has gotten so bad that I have to write on my daily agenda "drop Hunter off at practice" and hours later "pick Hunter up" of I don't why he isn't home and hasn't been thoughtful enough to call, dang teenager! LOL

lauren said...

I totally just "lost" my keys this week too! I dumped out all of my diaper bag twice in front of 2 different stores and then called Dave to be rescued. The minute he pulled up I found them, in my diaper bag. Figures.

Lyle said...

The comments to this post have caused me to reconsider my original belief that Nielson blood is what causes people to lose keys. Now I'm thinking it may be something on the second X chromosome.

Brian and Martha said...

I am eternally losing keys in my purse. Its not even that big. If there is a key missing, it is in my purse. Even when I swear to Brian it isn't my fault, and I think that finally the key will be found in his pocket or something, we find that darn key in my purse.

adventure knitter said...

why is it that we lose our keys? i've done it too many times to count....and we don't have a million copies of our keys...i just have to keep looking till I find them.